It's What We Call Ourselves
by ErinisMagic
Summary: Loki is used to being in detention. Just not with a group of people like this. *An Avengers Breakfast Club!AU based off of begitalarcos's post on tumblr (sorry- can't quite figure out how to put in links)


Loki leaned back in his chair, kicking his feet up onto the library table as the steady _tick tock_ of the clock on the wall filled the empty room. It was a familiar scene to him, and he waited for Principal Fury to come in and start his usual "Do you know why you are here?" speech before leaving him alone for the rest of the day. Outside, the birds chirped noisily and Loki scowled at the cheerfulness of the sound.

The door of the library flew open, but instead of Principle Fury being on the other side, it was another student. Loki pulled a disgusted bitchface as he took in the boys polo shirt and varsity football jacket and tried to remember his name. It was Steve Rodgers, wasn't it? That goody-goody, straight A, captain of the football team; what was he doing here?

Steve walked into the room with his backpack slung over one shoulder, dropping into the first chair he came upon. He folded his hands on the table and stared down at them, obviously ashamed of having been given detention. Loki scoffed and brushed a patch of dust off of his black leather jacket.

The next person to come in wasn't Fury, either, but Thor. Loki raised an eyebrow when he saw his stepbrother come in, but didn't say anything. After Thor came Clint Barton. Loki remembered him. The two of them used to shoplift together for no other reason than they were bored. They'd stopped doing that when Clint found an old bow and arrow set in his closet and taken up archery. _Shame_, though Loki. He hadn't been too terrible company.

Loki didn't know who the boy with the curly brown hair was, but he smelled like smoke and alcohol when he came in, tossing his scruffy bag on a table in the back and sitting down without looking at the rest of them. Loki recognized the feisty red-head who came in from his history class, and it seemed Clint knew her too, shooting her a wink as she passed by. She rolled her eyes, but sat next to him anyway.

The exact moment the hour hand of the clock hit eight, Principal Fury strode into the room. He stopped in the front, straightening his black suit and glaring at the group before him. "I believe," he started slowly, "that it is safe to assume that you all know why you are here?" The teenagers simply stared at him. "Good. So you will understand that it is for those reasons that you will be remaining here for the remainder of the day. There will be no talking, no electronics, and no fooling around. If I even hear so much as a single word uttered in this room, I will-" he was cut off as the door slammed open once more.

Tony Stark sauntered into the room, late as usual and wearing his trademarked, shit eating grin. "Sorry I'm late, Nick," he said as he passed the principal, patting his shoulder with the back of his hand. "Couldn't be helped. The new driver's shit with directions."

"Mister Stark, I thought I warned you about the repercussions of not arriving on time."

"I'm sure you did," Tony shot back, "but I probably wasn't listening."

"Then I guess I'll be seeing you here next Saturday as well. Now," Fury said, reaching for the box behind him and starting to walk over to the students, "phones." With that, he held the box out in front of Steve, who immediately reached into his pocket and handed in his phone. Thor did the same. Loki threw his phone into the box like he didn't have a care in the world. He was far too used to this to be upset by the loss of an electronic for the day. Clint and Natasha were a bit more hesitant, but eventually handed theirs in, too.

When Fury held the box out in front of Tony, he pulled a face. "Actually, I don't like being handed things," he said sarcastically, and Clint tried to smother a giggle. It wasn't very effective, so Natasha ended up elbowing him in the stomach to get him to shut up.

"Cute," Fury sneered, "now give me your phone."

Tony pretended to think this over for a few moments. "How about... no."

"Stark."

"Not gonna happen. If you want, you can bring up any complaints with my handler, but right now she's on vacation in Malibu."

Fury dropped the box on the table and leaned across it, getting close to Tony's face, voice low and threatening. "You may think you're at the top of the world just because your daddy's rich, but let me tell you this. I'm not scared of you, or your daddy. So you might want to quit the games before you find yourself in real trouble." Tony huffed, but pulled his fancy smart phone out of his pocket anyway and dropped it into the box. The kid in the back didn't make a sound when he handed in his cheap, banged-up flip phone; just kept his head down, avoiding any eye contact.

"You will be here until three," Fury said loudly as he walked back up to the front of the room. "I suppose it's too much to hope that you'll learn something from this experience. Well, humor me. By the end of the day, I'll be expecting a three page essay from each of you on the importance of proper morals and following the rules. Let's hope this day won't turn out to be a total waste." With that, he was out of the room, and the door banged shut behind him.

"Idiot," Clint muttered under his breath.

"We're not supposed to be talking," Steve whispered with wide eyes.

"Come on, it's not like he'll hear it! What kind of moron shuts the door when he's supposed to be making sure the kids in detention aren't talking?"

"He makes a fair point," Thor said reasonably, and Steve turned red at the realization that Clint was right.

"He's probably got the library bugged," Natasha joked with a sly grin.

Tony scoffed. "That paranoid asshat? He's probably got the whole school bugged."

"Rumor has it that he set up webcams in the girl's locker room," Loki joined in, watching gleefully as Steve nearly shook with rage at the blatant lie.

"I heard he jacks off to it in his office," said the kid in the back, sending Loki, Tony, Clint, Nat, and Thor into fits of laughter. Steve was livid.

"That's a lie and you know it," he hissed.

"Oh, don't get your granny panties in a twist," Tony said, waving his hand dismissively. "We're just having a bit of fun."

"Honestly, Rodgers," Loki said, shaking his head with faux disappointment, "it's like you've never even heard of the word before."

"Well, pardon me if I don't find sharing disgusting lies that could ruin someone's entire career to be enjoyable."

"Very well, you're excused," Tony said, and Loki and Clint started giggling again.

The group was quiet for a moment before Loki spoke up. "So, what did the rest of you morons do the land yourselves here? I'll start." With that, he pushed his chair back and stood up. "Hi, my name is Loki, and I mouthed off to a teacher."

"Hi, Loki," Tony droned like it was some sort of group therapy session, making everyone laugh except Steve.

"You're turn, genius," Loki said with a grin, throwing his pen across the room and hitting Tony on the shoulder.

"The name's Stark. Tony Stark," he said in a cheesy imitation of James Bond. "And I may or may not have accidentally on purpose blown something up in my shop class."

"Again?" Clint asked, raising an eyebrow.

"All right, smart ass, what about you?"

Clint chuckled. "Pulled up Nat's skirt in math."

Loki grinned and looked to Natasha, indicating that it was her turn to share.

Natasha smiled. "Punched Clint in the jaw."

The group of teens dissolved into laughter again before Thor picked up with his story. "I fear I do not know my own strength, for I once again broke my desk without meaning to."

"You broke your desk?" Natasha repeated incredulously, and Thor nodded.

"What about you?" Tony asked, turning to the kid in the back. "It's Bruce, right?"

Bruce nodded. "Got caught skipping class," he explained.

"Which class?" Natasha asked. The kid was wicked smart, and it wasn't typical of the smart-kid-type to be skipping class.

"Gym," he said, and a chorus of "Ahh"s passed through the group.

"You mark the spot?" Tony asked. It was considered considerate in their school to mark the spots kids were caught smoking or skipping class so that the others would know to find someplace new that the teachers didn't know about yet. Bruce nodded and Tony shot him a smile. "Good man," he praised.

Steve looked very uncomfortable while the rest were talking, keeping his head down and his eyes focused on the threadbare carpet of the library floor. Loki stood and walked over to him, ignoring the empty chair and sitting down on the table next to his arm. "So what about you?" he asked him. "Goody-goody like you getting sent to detention? Must've been something bad."

"I- uh, decked a guy pickin' on some kid in the hall," Steve mumbled.

Clint whistled lowly and Thor asked "How badly did you hurt this other man?"

Steve winced. "Pretty bad," he admitted.

"Dude had it comin'," Clint reasoned, and Steve smiled a little.

"Yeah, he did." For whatever reason, he started laughing at that, and the rest of the group started laughing with him. "He really did!"

They laughed together for a while before they started to calm down. Once they did, Natasha sat up straight in her seat. "Fury's coming!" she whispered, hearing his footsteps echoing in the hall. All noise in the library stopped at that, and Loki scrambled to get back into his seat before the principal came in.

Fury threw the door open and stalked into the room. "What were you doing in here?" he nearly shouted.

"Nothing, sir," Loki said, trying to sound innocent.

"I heard you lot laughing, even though I told you not a single sound! Now you want to tell me what all that was all about?"

"We weren't laughing, Principal Fury," Natasha lied. "We haven't made a sound since you left."

"'Tis true!" Thor said, backing her up.

"Now, why don't I believe you?" Fury said, voice like ice.

Tony looked to Steve, using his eyes to plead him to help. The rest of them had been in detention often enough in their high school careers for Fury not to trust them, but Steve was a model student. Their principal was bound to buy any word that he said. Steve bit his lip for a moment before deciding what he should do.

"They're telling the truth, sir," he said. "No one said a word."

"Maybe you were imagining it," Clint supplied.

Fury glared at them, waiting for them to squirm, to give away the lie, but none of them moved. He glanced at the clock. "Six more hours," he said, turning to leave the room again. "And don't forget that essay!"

Once the door had shut and fury's footsteps disappeared down the hall, the group burst out into laughter once more. "Did you see his face?" Bruce called.

"Yeah," Tony answered between laughs. "Oh man, it was priceless!"

"I thought his head was going to explode or something," Loki exclaimed.

"All over his precious books?" Thor countered. "Never!"

They all talked and laughed and shared stories until Fury came in again at noon. "Ah, yes," Tony said, as though he had just thought of it. "I believe we are entitled to a nutritious lunch."

Fury scowled, looking around the room. Rodgers and Banner had both brought food with them, but none of the others had. "Who am I going to least regret sending out for food?" he asked rhetorically. "Rodgers, Odinson, go." Steve looked up and nodded, motioning Thor to follow as he walked out of the room towards the cafeteria. Fury leaned against the librarian's desk in the front of the room, watching the group as if he suspected they had something planned.

It wasn't until after Steve and Thor returned with the food that Fury left. "What was so important about getting lunch, anyway?" Steve asked as he handed Tony the styrofoam tray with a sandwich on it.

Tony took the tray and grinned. "I was just wondering how pissed Fury'd be if I took this sandwich apart and stuffed it into his book."

Clint laughed. "Do it," he encouraged him. "I dare you. You have to do it."

Tony grinned again, standing up and disappearing with the tray behind the bookshelves. When he returned a few minutes later, all that was left of the sandwich was a couple of crumbs and a piece of ham.

"Fury's gonna have your head on a plate if he ever finds out that was you," Bruce warned, and Tony just laughed.

The rest of the afternoon was spent finding how many things they could mess up in the library and doing dramatic readings of bad poems they found in books. Loki was convinced that he could rig the bookshelves to fall over as soon as a book was removed, but Steve thought that was taking it a little too far.

It wasn't until 2:30 that anyone remembered that they had the essay to write. "Do we have to?" Clint whined, and Natasha smacked the back of his head.

"He's got a point," Bruce said. "Why should we all have to write an essay about rules? It's not like we're the crowed who really cares." Steve looked offended at that, but Bruce ignored it. "Besides, we're all just going to end up writing the same exact bullshit anyway."

"Chill, guys," Tony said, reaching for a pen and a piece of paper. "I got this."

When Fury walked into the library at 3:15, everyone had left. Tony had told his driver to take his new friends to the amusement park for the sole reason that Thor thought he could ride more rollercoasters that Clint without throwing up. He walked over to that desk on which a single piece of paper lay. It read:

_Fuck this shit._

_Sincerely, The Avengers (that's what we call ourselves)._

Fury grinned despite himself as he read over the "essay". This wouldn't be the last he was seeing of that group.


End file.
